david sedaris round two

Remember this? I didn't get to sew on a button this time, but I did get to meet him again (he remembered me!) and get all of my books signed. It was a great show. His readings were hilarious. Laughed so hard I almost cried. I highly recommend going to see him if he's in town. 

P.S. He has a new book coming out on Tuesday. Buy it. Read it. Love it.

hand it over!

image via pinterest

a television review.

I have a confession. I watch Bunheads, and I love it. It is hilarious. But for the first few episodes I was pretty skeptical. I felt like it was trying too hard to be Gilmore Girls - something, though despite an almost identical cast, it was not. I giggled a few times. Nothing more. Then last night happened. "The Astronaut and the Ballerina" was everything perfect and hilarious that Gilmore Girls is. It had that effortless dialogue (and lots of it!) that is so delightfully quippy and chock-full of references that you don't get until the next day. It had me laughing out loud - real laughs - many many times. Sutton Foster is brilliant. And even though we all know that she is Broadway, her screen acting is great too. So if you enjoy Gilmore Girls and haven't watched Bunheads, this is my shameless plug to watch the show.

on david sedaris and buttons

On Thursday something amazing happened. Well, a few things, actually. First, I got to spend a great evening on a date with my husband. Second, we met David Sedaris. Third, I got to sew a button back onto one of Mr. Sedaris' shirts, and he paid me five dollars for it. We stood in line waiting to meet him to get our book signed (which he did sign - and addressed to our dog) when we heard him asking everyone in front of us if they could sew. The conversations went something like this:

DS: "Do you sew?"

Person: "No..."

DS: "Ugh. The women in this town!"

Then we stepped up to the signing table to say hello, and he asked if I could sew, and got the answer he was looking for. It was a fancy French shirt, and he happened to have a sewing kit in his bag. From what I can gather from his stories, Hugh does most of the domestic things at their house, and David spends his time writing. It was extra awesome because I got to sit down next to him and chat with him while I sewed the button back on. He was delightful. Funny. Personable. Told everyone else in line about me and how I was sewing a button back onto his shirt for him. The five dollar bill and my ticket stub are now framed and on a shelf in my living room next to the signed book. And I have a new amazing story to tell.

click + clack

image found here.

Devastating news. Car Talk is going off the air in September. The boys are retiring. I guess that's something you get to do after thirty-five successful years on the radio. Now I need to find something else to do on Saturday mornings. Any suggestions are more than welcome. Thanks in advance.

mistaken

Here's my conversation from last night at church*. All I had to do was make an announcement to the girls about Summer camp.

YW Leader: Hi, I don't think I've met you before. What's your name?

Me: Alyssa. That's nice. She's being really friendly.

Leader: Oh, nice to meet you! Would you like to conduct opening exercises? 

Me: No...oh geez, she thinks I'm one of the girls...I'm the camp director for my ward. I'm just here to make an announcement.

Leader: Oh.

She then went and asked one of the actual girls to start the meeting, as I stood there contemplating the fact that I am five years older than the very oldest of the teenage girls who attend YW, and eleven years older than the youngest of them. I know I'm short and look young, but I don't think I look like a teenager anymore. Sigh.

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Then after church we went to Barnes & Noble. I was standing in the literature aisle browsing when a man came up to me.

Man: Do you know where I can find the Orwell section? You used to have a big display/section of Orwell's books.

Me: Um ... I've got no idea ... I don't work here. Why don't you try the literature section. Under the letter O. You know, Orwell. O. Pretty simple.

Man: (walks off with a grunt like he's mad I don't know where the books are in a store that I told him I don't work in)

Sheesh. I am not a Barnes & Noble employee (though that one doesn't really bother me) and I am not a teenager. I know, I know - I'll love it when I'm in my thirties and people think I'm still in my twenties, but right now it pretty much sucks to be a college graduate and often mistaken for a teenager.

*disclaimer: YW = Young Women (it's the organization for the teenage girls to get together and fellowship); Camp Director = The one who makes sure all the girls pass off every prerequisite to go to Summer camp. Opening Exercises = the person (always one of the girls) who welcomes everyone, shares a spiritual thought, and assigns someone to say the opening prayer. Ward = congregation that meets every Sunday for church service.

Henri

Presenting "Henri le chat noir" un film de Will Braden

and its sequel

Existentialist cat for the win. How I adore existentialism. And cats. And French.

pretty much

I'm going to keep crossing all of my fingers and toes hoping that she's lying when she says that her new book has nothing to do with Harry.

wheels

Yesterday I got a new (read: new to me) adorable little dark blue Honda CR-V. The couple we bought it from had every single piece of paperwork from every service the car has ever had. Extremely thorough. And a midst the stack of paperwork was a newspaper clipping from an article by Click & Clack, so it was a win in my book. Knowing who Click and Clack are and telling me you love them is one way to become instant friends with me. Really. They're the best.

My acquisition of this new car meant that I had to clean out my truck so my little brother can learn to drive on it. The thought of my baby brother behind the wheel  (panic.) and out on the roads (trying to breathe.) was more heart stopping than anything I found behind the seats of the truck. But among the more interesting finds were several cardigans that I had long ago written off as lost forever, three pairs of shoes, a wireless internet router, and a Playboy umbrella. I remember that umbrella from my days living at the Plaza, and someone (Liz, maybe?) had that umbrella, but how it ended up in my truck, I'm not sure. Roommates, if you have any inclination to why we thought the best place to store that umbrella was my truck, please tell.

monday afternoon

 

this is what happens when my mom and i wait to pick up my brother from school

It's a Festivus for the rest of us!

ignore the fact that the audio and picture are slightly off. just listen.

Happy Festivus, everyone!

international

Recently, Richland County and the city of Columbia finished constructing these giant matching brick structures, like the kind you see at the entrances of neighborhoods, at the start of Decker Boulevard. The brick structures have pictures of different countries' flags on them and text that reads, "Decker Boulevard. International Corridor". The sentiment is nice, but I'm pretty sure that the only thing that qualifies the street as an international corridor is a string of slightly sketchy (mostly Asian and Mexican) ethnic restaurants that I wouldn't eat at for fear of dying. You know the kind. Dingy. Outdated, falling apart signs. The brick entrances to the street are nicer than the street and just about everything else on it. I'm glad our city has its priorities in order.

oh, my man, i love him so.

"my man". or, how to win an oscar in two minutes and thirty-eight seconds.

i could watch this movie on repeat and never ever get tired of it.

Have a frozen banana in celebration!

Jason Bateman, Will Arnett, and Mitch Hurwitz have all confirmed that Arrested Development is coming back for another season leading up to the much anticipated (and long overdue) movie. I'll believe it when I'm sitting on my couch watching the new season because, let's face it, they haven't exactly had it completely together when announcing things like this in the past. (read: it's been five years with promises of a movie, but nothing has happened yet). If this is true, and I so want to believe it, this is one of the best days since the show went off the air. I so want it to be true. If they're all confirming it, it has to be, right? Arrested Development people, please let this happen this time. ohpleaseohpleaseohplease. The rest of my evening is now dedicated to watching the show, and crying big tears of joy for its (presumed) return. It will be the happiest. Ever. End of.

stella, the water cat

taken using the 8mm camera app   
music: "singin' in the rain" from the motion picture soundtrack

!

I just stumbled upon this article the other day, and since I tend to side with Fitzgerald on the exclamation mark, this article really says it all.

"The Joy of Exclamation Marks!" by Stuart Jeffries

The article had me positively laughing out loud - mostly because it is nothing but the truth.

A Tale of Two Cats

                      

A few weeks ago Chloe saw a moth in our house. Since then, she's convinced that every little dark spot - be it a shadow, a dark spot in the pattern of the kitchen tile, or a speck of dirt - is a bug. She chases these "bugs" all day long, but when she sees a real bug, she loses it. She stares the bug down while meowing at it. I'm not sure what she thinks that will do. Then she runs to find me, uses her "I just found a real bug" voice and takes me to where the bug is. All normal kitty instincts to hunt are lost one this one. Clearly, she's been a house cat her entire life. Stella, on the other hand, is an adventurous little kitty. We think she must have been a stray before we got her. Stella chases the bugs down. She pounces. She eats them. All we have to do is kill the bug or knock it down, set Stella in front of the bug, and it'll be devoured in the next few seconds. All the while, Chloe still meows in the background.

david sedaris

Besides moving back to South Carolina as soon as possible,
my number one goal in life is to write like this:

"Journey Into Night"
(read it, please)

"Stadium Pal"
(watch it, please)

Oh, to be this witty, talented, and brilliantly hilarious.

such a delightful play on words

"mrs. lovett's pie shop. fleet street, london. serving people since 1846."

I came back to my desk after a break at work and this was there. Over the weekend, my amazing friend Sarah made it for me. Such a thoughtful surprise! 

It now sits on my kitchen counter, and I giggle every time I see it.

if you don't get the reference, read this.

slang flashcards

 

Husband found these on Amazon, and he bought them for me. They should be here in a few days. I can't wait for the hilarity that will ensue.